I really enjoy Hebrews 10

http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Hbr&c=10&v=1&t=NASB#top


i'm so glad God has provided community for me where I live. its always an effort to really dig in to community where you live. especially when it is a new place. going to this bible study when i moved up here to Dallas was difficult the first few times because i felt SO intimidated and just ... small i guess, because these guys were just so cool, and really seemed like they had a good idea about things ... it was difficult to go back each week, and it was only the encouragement of a few guys who really told me it would be worth it to reach out and meet some new people. i can tell you it was one of the most important things to happen to me, becuase i've learned an incredible amount. i've learned not just more about people, but more about what community looks like, and what living outside of myself and my mind looks like.

v.23 might be my favorite
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;

It was a struggle to process the thought of committing to new people who i didn't know well and who didn't know me well, but it was worth it.

probably the best thing about it, is how the things i've learned from my new community affected my already established relationships. perhaps it was a maturity thing as well... i was a cocky kid coming into this bible study, but was immediately humbled when i realized that my mindset was far below where it should be. but thats what the process is for - improvement! so when i see some of my best friends from the past 8 or so years, I have a better mindset in how i can relate to them... with more patience, or more intention or more maturity, as opposed to just holding onto old habits of relationships.

its been great, but it was tough initially and i'm so glad. so grateful that the Lord saw me through it, and brought me to where I am now... and i know there is more great things to come

how i wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me


and it starts with me. how can i expect potential to be realized in others, when i don't actively pursue it within myself?

thats a quintessential example of hypocrisy.


so lets go. less empty words. less words in general. more actions.

I'm desperate for a change. I can't continue on in my ridiculous mindsets anymore. I have to stay active and stay focused, and make my actions match up with my words, or better still, my actions speak instead of my words

it makes me sick to think of the people who have put up with my inconsistencies and unreliability. friends in college, my parents, friends at work, and Jenny (she's put up with the most) how on earth can people believe what i say, when i don't do what i say i'm going to do? of course there are times when i make a decision to do something different than what i say, but those should be the exceptions and not the rule.

its so sick and its has to change, there really is no option left. i'm so grateful that the Lord was able to give me the grace to get up today and get going, as opposed to sleep till the last possible second.

other people blogging makes me want to blog more.

small victory: took lunch and went to super target.... 20 dollars later i have lunch and breakfast for at least 2 weeks.

full loaf of wheat bred
butter
peanut butter
grape jelly
soups assorted
goldfish
rold gold pretzel sticks
lunchables.

don't build on wet cement, if i doesn't crack now, it will crack eventually

- wes

i don't know what to say... i honestly don't know what to feel aside from gratitude that the Lord gave me what i asked for. i want to carry the burdens of those i love... i do, my heart longs for it... and the Lord gave me a true taste of that, and while it hurt a lot, it did feel good, and for that i'm so good. i need to start breaking the box i've placed the Lord in... ugh thats so bad.

i need to prove that i deserve that.

new music to be aware of and get (notes to self basically)

-fun
-derek webb
-weezer
-john mayer (nov?)
-

jenny has gone away and i'm sad. i miss her already 4 days into 30+, so much. this girl is so cool, and i love her.

today i bought a house, and i'm really excited.

but part of me is a little jealous of the idea of not buying a house, and i really don't know how to describe it otherwise.


the Lord has lead me in this direction, and i couldn't begin to tell you how obvious that has been... but this direction did not come without sacrifices of some kind. small, and theoretical as they may be, there were some involved. only a few of you might understand them, and i doubt even they would get it.

yeah i've just bought a box to live in, but i know my heart won't ever stay boxed in.

hey listen, i get it.

you HAVE to be smart.

but being too conservative, now thats just dumb.






the Lord just revealed this in such a big way. and i'm so excited for what's to come...

and my heart is sad.



"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

matthew 12:33-37

The most recent post on Why Justin Why ... not on beggars... (Justin Wolfshohl) is worth reading.

Yes i'm updating my blog to say - check out someone elses blog

whyjustinwhy.blogspot.com

I'm not sure if i love being a night hawk. Sometimes I think that it might hurt me during the day... admittedly i've toned down the late night since i've started working, but dang let me say that as i sit here listening to some music, i realize how much i enjoy staying up late sometimes...

not all the time, but sometimes




at the same time, i have begun to realize the peace and beauty of a good beginning to a day.

i want both, but i realize i can't have them both at the same time.

I dunno why, but I wanna fight through.

But then again, I've been told I like fighting.

what a great night.

Thanks Peter

Truly I don't recall seeing as sincere a smile on Jonathan Armour's face, as I have recently.

Great win today in March Madness from the Aggies. Also, glad to see Baylor pull out a win against Georgetown in the NIT.


Hi Christie.


That reminds me of how much I believe facebook is undermining any kind of authentic relationship building. I realize I've blogged on this before. But let's all be honest here. There are few less sincere ways to communicate with someone, than by facebook (and I'm only allowing e-mail to be elevated slightly over facebook because of its more widespread and regular use). Its kinda annoying to me how much is learned and how much is communicated over a medium that is designed to tear down privacy rights, and make money. Facebook is long gone as a convenient medium for college and young adult networking. Its now the MySpace for everyone, creepers, and college drop outs included. Its lost a status, and that kinda stinks. Now, its not really special anymore, its more of a "eh well everyone else is on..." kinda thing.

Fun? sure. Convenient in a busy world? sure. Insincere? Unarguable. Laughably immature? sometimes.

People just look for something to do, so they can complain about being too busy. If some people don't always have something to do, then they will inevitably have to face tough issues.

Why do people have a hard time just relaxing, especially when it comes to over-valued projects and 'work'?

It kills me, becuase as I'm learning more disciplined work mentalities and mindsets, I'm learning them from over agressive, hyper-intensive workaholics.

please don't be dumb enough to say "oh lookit - two nominations for his cabinet have stepped down, must be the sign of an administrative nightmare (or replace administrative nightmare with truly an unworthy leader)"

I know that my great friends are not dumb enough to think similarly dumb things.

time comes and goes. i just looked through a photo album of a friend of my brothers, who was celebrating his last year at the air force academy.

i remember when my friends at the academies were getting ready to be sophomores, and I was looking forward to my junior year in college.

it all seems to have just wizzed by, and here i am - 24, out on my own, never to have a college experience again. this bums me out in a lot of ways, and i guess right now, that bumming out is outweighing the positive forethought of what lies ahead of me. truly the best is yet to come, but i just have no idea how quickly the past 6 years went, and i have no idea how much i would learn, and grow and change and gain perspective since i started the next steps in my life.



nostalgia is a funny thing - truly i think its a form of pity party - and thats not the best way to go about living life. but it is a good thing sometimes b/c you get to look back, and i think that for those who are mature enough to get over it (the nostalgia that is) in an appropriate amount of time, it forces you to evaluate where you are now, and where you are headed.... and who you are.


... and does that picture look like you want it to? are you who you want to be? truly, are you just letting the situations play the major role in molding you, or are you using situations to mold yourself, with the guidance of Wisdom, and the Wisest of Councils?


but i guess most of it is, for me anyway, i miss the way i used to think about developing - about how i told myself - thats not the best thing to do in the situation, and "this type of person doesn't notice when you do this" or things like that.


wow i don't blog very 'organizationally'


also, i wonder if the people who helped me along the way, realize what the have done, and i wonder if they value it.

i know that i value the thought of potentially doing that for someone else, and it would be great to know and hear that i did.




... and man people's journeys are just so unique, and unexpected. some can't hang on, some can.

but all of us need to hold out hope.


truly, hope.

Soldiers who are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan routinely are on facebook.
Warfighters - men and women who are tasked with stabilizing a country and combating terrorist networks, update their status.

This just trips me out.

adults don't like jokes.

I understand being non-committal.

But some of my friends, refuse to take a stand and make a call on something. They can dance and dodge (which, believe me, I've been accused of) and not want to answer, being afraid of being backed into a corner, or exposed in ignorance. But thats ok. If you believe something, and you think its right, work it out, think on it, pray on it, truly evaluate it. Don't blindly believe anything, save your faith, if it so entails.

But for the love of God, stand strong.

It is unfair for my personal lack of discipline to affect relationships and areas in my life negatively, especially those upon which i place a great deal of value.

I barely caught it at almost a month since i posted.

Already 2 weeks into 2009, and time just keeps on flying.

A helicopter crash on A&M's campus yesterday - 1/12 - really bummed me out. Not only because a 22 year old, patriotic Aggie died, but becuase A&M might lose a great tradition of military proportions - the ROTC cadets - who, by the way, go through the same training and come into the Armed Forces as any other military academy - such as West Point or Annapolis.

I doubt that training such as this will take place on the fields again, which is kind of a bummer - that is such a unique thing - to have official military training operations take place on campus, and now, like Bonfire, they will probably be done away with.

Another person has died on A&M's campus, and that makes me sad. Terrible lucky? I guess... i don't know what else to call it...?