And there goes March. Yikes. I have a guest appearance coming up on http://www.blogger.com/this and I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous. There is so much that I want to say, so much I want to share, as I'm quite certain my little (albeit long-running) blog doesn't appear regularly on many folks' blog-rolls. Its certainly fine by me, but with such a far-reaching blog as OSV, maybe this is the big break I'll need. Ha. /// One thing I owe a lot of credit to the Lord for is this: over the past few years, I have felt this desire for publicity and attention removed even further than, oh say, early college years. Obviously a lot of this was due to my increasing relationship with Jenny, but it was certainly structured by the Lord showing me that my words might mean more, and my actions taken a little more seriously, with a calm, well-thought-out, patient delivery. Juxtapose this with the hyper-loud-intensifying-BLAM type communication many people came to expect from me. Rest assured, those BLAM Communications skill-sets are still with me, but using them strategically is more important than letting them go unbridled. I have certainly been convinced of that recently. /// Which brings me to my conclusion. I hope to keep my thoughts organized but detailed within my guest appearance here in the next few weeks (?). But I can tell you this... what I do want to communicate, I hope that people are open to hear. The theme of many conversations with people in my immediate community here in Dallas over the past few years, is that my heart hurts sometimes for friends who don't have outlets for (new) community. I couldn't possibly imagine someone questioning my loyalty to the long-standing, foundational relationships in my life... the people who the Lord used to shape my spirit, my core faith, etc. My love for those people is life-long and cemented. I do know this, however: my local community has a very immediate reach into the decisions in my life. /// For a long time I fought extremely hard against the 'proximity' argument for community - insisting to myself and my friends that no matter how far the distance, our intimacy will NEVER change. I can say that it for the most part that is true, but you couldn't make an argument about keeping the exact same level of intimacy while living in different cities. I'm ridiculously blessed that the history and intensity of many of my closest friendships can overcome some of the proximity failings, but asking the Lord for wisdom and perspective, has been most frequently (chronologically speaking) been answered through friends with whom I can regularly see in person. Luckily, the importance and familiarity with my non-proximate friends remains. Its the best (as it can be) of both worlds. Lucky me.

Finally. A weekend where both of us were home and we had no agenda.

7months have come and gone, and multiple times throughout the past week, we've noticed, jenny and i have, that our love for each other has grown - surprisingly and immensly. Both of us noticed that our expectation when we got married - as to how much we loved each other then - was that it might be at its pinnacle, but obviously it is not.

I think one of the formulas for success, obviously beyond a relationship with the Lord, is the ability to bend. Both of us brining our preferences to living together - habits, etc. could have been disastrously difficult. I think that that is one of the difficulties that young couples encounter - and believe me we've encountered those - but we've been able to bend accordingly.

I get really annoyed at my buddies who tell me how their personal habits of TV watching or eating or post-work whatever-the-task-is hasn't substantially changed.

I think its so easy for people to just insist on their way, on their preferences, instead of looking towards your spouse to prefer theirs. Overwhelmingly I want Jenny to be happy - to be relaxed and comfortable in our surroundings. Whatever that takes, I'm willing to forgo my habitual SportsCenter watchings - but obviously I still get my fix in (b/c she wants me to! - see this cycle!), to keep my focus on my wife and her happiness.

I have sincerely enjoyed seeing us mold our habits together - breakfast and coffee time - devotionals - prayer time - going out for dinner, driving to meet friends, working out. Wow, we're so blessed. Continued gratitude....

http://www.pandora.com/music/song/mumford+sons/cave#lyrics

It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears and all the faults
You've left behind
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears and all the faults
You've left behind
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears and all the faults
You've left behind
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
'Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's land
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
'Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

I've got to take a second to brag on my wife. She's great, and has been extremely patient. I see her growing, and that is so encouraging to me.

I'm excited for college basketball to head towards its seasons end. The tournament is so great, and I really and sincerely enjoy the camraderie that it brings among co-workers, friends, families. These past few months have definitely been focused on things of Jenny and I's life together, as opposed to lots of sports intake, and thats great. But as college hoops wraps up and the NBA playoffs nears, I'm excited to open up a little bit more to sports.

Its great to have guys in my community group to encourage that, and I interact with these guys regularly. Community, I'm reminded, is not only terribly valuable, but it takes a while to get going. Our Foundation Group through Watermark is full of great, and sincere people, but opening up and getting honest and stuff, is going to take a while.

Speaking of time, Jenny and I are heading down the homestretch of the first year of our marriage. Thats great, but definitely crazy. Things are always going forward in most every aspect, and that, more than any other descriptor of our marriage, is what I want. Forward.

Living in constant state of prayer. Thats how I want to be.

Maybe before these past 6 months in my life, I only believed in prayer theoretically, not actually. My belief or misconception of sincere prayers doesn't change the fact that God works independently and according to his good pleasure.

Maybe its just that Jenny and I have prayed so very hard, with pretty great consistency, and seen results. We'll just keep at it.