its a world that few people know. and even fewer want to know it. its where grown men (and women) can compete and be brave.

its where you can compete, win, and lose.  

its a world that i enjoy, not love, enjoy.  and right now - that world has been as cold as f*3830g hell. 

its so cold, and i want to be so upset and angry. i want to be so mad and ludicrous and irate, but i'm fighting it.  i need some help dealing with it - and i really have only 1 friend who knows about it.  he's a good friend, he's loyal and intelligent and i'm so proud of him; so proud that he is one of my boys.

dammit i'm so mad.