Well I do believe this week I'll take a wife.
I've had a good run as a bachelor. I have had some awesome times, and I owe a lot of people thanks.
So, thanks.
What a great path I've taken. Each experience from about age 18+ has helped me figure out a lot about myself, and helped me to change from the cocky punk I was, to the guy I am now. I'm so glad to have found a woman like Jenny.
Her spirit is a perfect compliment to my personality spirit in so many ways. I am so excited to serve her, and protect her and lead us into an exciting life - one without (too much) routine and complacency. She makes me want to think big, and 'be better' and pursue things outside of mundane. This girl sparks things inside me.
My loyalties take a new order from here on out: 1) Jenny 2) et cetera
There are plenty of nerves, sure... but I know that those nerves are overcome by love ...
1 John 4:17 - 21
By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.
1Jo 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1Jo 4:19
We love because he first loved us.
1Jo 4:20
If anyone says, "I love God, " and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.
1Jo 4:21
And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Songs like Bob Dylan's Girl From the North Country remind me how much I love music.
I get frustrated when I just hit a great Pandora groove; frustrated because I haven't put as much time into music and music discovery as I have in the past. It makes me feel so great - good music does.
Glad to have a girl who loves it, too.
I get frustrated when I just hit a great Pandora groove; frustrated because I haven't put as much time into music and music discovery as I have in the past. It makes me feel so great - good music does.
Glad to have a girl who loves it, too.
Friday, July 02, 2010
this coming wedding is very exciting to me. I love hearing and thinking about my friends' marriages, and advice and everything. because i know that Jenny and I have this amazing ability to blend things together, or not blend things together to create our unique life together.
i love our uniqueness, and i feel that it is 10x more unique than anything i can see.
i am so excited to spend the rest of my life with a woman who understands me so incredibly well. this understanding was intuitive and it was not established by my blatant and intentional exposure. it was grasped by allowing herself to be vulnerable about her own spirit and mind, which in turn allowed me to be vulnerable. Pride tried (and will continue to) to get in the way, insisting that i think about things over and over and over again, and second guess my decisions. but God has this incredible way of just tipping over the house of sticks that Pride tries to build.
i guess thats the battle that Bono sings about in one of U2's best songs - Pride (In the Name of Love).
i've always been a romantic, so i wasn't concerned that Love would loose to Pride. but i've seen it do so many many times. i'm just glad i'm aware of it, and can fight on the correct side.
i love our uniqueness, and i feel that it is 10x more unique than anything i can see.
i am so excited to spend the rest of my life with a woman who understands me so incredibly well. this understanding was intuitive and it was not established by my blatant and intentional exposure. it was grasped by allowing herself to be vulnerable about her own spirit and mind, which in turn allowed me to be vulnerable. Pride tried (and will continue to) to get in the way, insisting that i think about things over and over and over again, and second guess my decisions. but God has this incredible way of just tipping over the house of sticks that Pride tries to build.
i guess thats the battle that Bono sings about in one of U2's best songs - Pride (In the Name of Love).
i've always been a romantic, so i wasn't concerned that Love would loose to Pride. but i've seen it do so many many times. i'm just glad i'm aware of it, and can fight on the correct side.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
i'm always interested to see bloggers and their interests. especially when it comes to the modern day blog-o-sphere. if/when i told people that i blogged back in college... they kinda looked at me pretty oddly and said 'oh cool'. now, my blog is nothing special or anything to write home about, but for me, its been kinda cool to look back at the archives from late high school and early college and see what i wrote. long before facebook publishing and twitter addictions, blogs were an outlet to express thoughts publically. althought i've had my blog address on my facebook page for years now, it doesn't seem as though many of my friends read it. which is fine, i'm not looking for readership per se.
i'm just fascinated by the idea of these young newlyweds just jumping into a blog. its great to read stories and thoughts, but its funny to me, how a popular craze has picked up on something that has been around for a while. fair enough, and nothing but best wishes. because a blog becomes more dear to you, the longer you have/subscribe to it.
i'm just fascinated by the idea of these young newlyweds just jumping into a blog. its great to read stories and thoughts, but its funny to me, how a popular craze has picked up on something that has been around for a while. fair enough, and nothing but best wishes. because a blog becomes more dear to you, the longer you have/subscribe to it.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
college basketball... came and went. argh. i feel as thought i didn't get a chance to enjoy it as much as i could have.
things have been insanely busy... especially because jenny and i are planning a wedding.
boy, things have just fallen into place with this planning stuff... i can definitely see how it could stress people out and cause much tension and grief, but so far, so good for us. I'm certainly not counting my chickens before they hatch, but lets be honest... we've got 75% of the major things sorted out, and we're only 1 month into a 5.8 month engagement. WIN.
stressful times over the past 8 months were incredibly varied, from travel and time, to the job hunt for my dear fiance. finally, a break we catch and jenny is plugged into a job that has just met so many of her desires in a work environment, and still provides opportunity for growth both socially as well as professionally. we didn't give up, in hoping for something like this, but we did trudge through the mud for a while. the Lord provides, in his time, and its Him who gets the credit.
gosh i'm so pumped for jenny to help me get my house in order. for us to customize it, etc. just get comfortable.
things have been insanely busy... especially because jenny and i are planning a wedding.
boy, things have just fallen into place with this planning stuff... i can definitely see how it could stress people out and cause much tension and grief, but so far, so good for us. I'm certainly not counting my chickens before they hatch, but lets be honest... we've got 75% of the major things sorted out, and we're only 1 month into a 5.8 month engagement. WIN.
stressful times over the past 8 months were incredibly varied, from travel and time, to the job hunt for my dear fiance. finally, a break we catch and jenny is plugged into a job that has just met so many of her desires in a work environment, and still provides opportunity for growth both socially as well as professionally. we didn't give up, in hoping for something like this, but we did trudge through the mud for a while. the Lord provides, in his time, and its Him who gets the credit.
gosh i'm so pumped for jenny to help me get my house in order. for us to customize it, etc. just get comfortable.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Can't believe this is my first post of 2010. Not as if I'm particularly regular in posting anyhow.
Major relief this past weekend... Jenny got a job. This is just a release of my spirit and hers, and is just a weight off of our back. I am so grateful.
I realized something... some people like not having structure. Or at least not having a job. I know myself, and I know that if I did not have a distinct purpose and focus getting up each morning, I would slip into a draft of mediocrity and laziness. That sucks.
But some people really just enjoy the idea of days upon days of social expansion and socially focused activities (and if you know me, of course I do too). I would really enjoy an open schedule where I'm able to do what I please, but I do know this: I need structure, and I want to earn something.
Putting in hard work and focused work for an end, is something that drives me. But I have a suspicion it is not something that drives everyone.
Major relief this past weekend... Jenny got a job. This is just a release of my spirit and hers, and is just a weight off of our back. I am so grateful.
I realized something... some people like not having structure. Or at least not having a job. I know myself, and I know that if I did not have a distinct purpose and focus getting up each morning, I would slip into a draft of mediocrity and laziness. That sucks.
But some people really just enjoy the idea of days upon days of social expansion and socially focused activities (and if you know me, of course I do too). I would really enjoy an open schedule where I'm able to do what I please, but I do know this: I need structure, and I want to earn something.
Putting in hard work and focused work for an end, is something that drives me. But I have a suspicion it is not something that drives everyone.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
I really enjoy Hebrews 10
http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Hbr&c=10&v=1&t=NASB#top
i'm so glad God has provided community for me where I live. its always an effort to really dig in to community where you live. especially when it is a new place. going to this bible study when i moved up here to Dallas was difficult the first few times because i felt SO intimidated and just ... small i guess, because these guys were just so cool, and really seemed like they had a good idea about things ... it was difficult to go back each week, and it was only the encouragement of a few guys who really told me it would be worth it to reach out and meet some new people. i can tell you it was one of the most important things to happen to me, becuase i've learned an incredible amount. i've learned not just more about people, but more about what community looks like, and what living outside of myself and my mind looks like.
v.23 might be my favorite
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;
It was a struggle to process the thought of committing to new people who i didn't know well and who didn't know me well, but it was worth it.
probably the best thing about it, is how the things i've learned from my new community affected my already established relationships. perhaps it was a maturity thing as well... i was a cocky kid coming into this bible study, but was immediately humbled when i realized that my mindset was far below where it should be. but thats what the process is for - improvement! so when i see some of my best friends from the past 8 or so years, I have a better mindset in how i can relate to them... with more patience, or more intention or more maturity, as opposed to just holding onto old habits of relationships.
its been great, but it was tough initially and i'm so glad. so grateful that the Lord saw me through it, and brought me to where I am now... and i know there is more great things to come
http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Hbr&c=10&v=1&t=NASB#top
i'm so glad God has provided community for me where I live. its always an effort to really dig in to community where you live. especially when it is a new place. going to this bible study when i moved up here to Dallas was difficult the first few times because i felt SO intimidated and just ... small i guess, because these guys were just so cool, and really seemed like they had a good idea about things ... it was difficult to go back each week, and it was only the encouragement of a few guys who really told me it would be worth it to reach out and meet some new people. i can tell you it was one of the most important things to happen to me, becuase i've learned an incredible amount. i've learned not just more about people, but more about what community looks like, and what living outside of myself and my mind looks like.
v.23 might be my favorite
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;
It was a struggle to process the thought of committing to new people who i didn't know well and who didn't know me well, but it was worth it.
probably the best thing about it, is how the things i've learned from my new community affected my already established relationships. perhaps it was a maturity thing as well... i was a cocky kid coming into this bible study, but was immediately humbled when i realized that my mindset was far below where it should be. but thats what the process is for - improvement! so when i see some of my best friends from the past 8 or so years, I have a better mindset in how i can relate to them... with more patience, or more intention or more maturity, as opposed to just holding onto old habits of relationships.
its been great, but it was tough initially and i'm so glad. so grateful that the Lord saw me through it, and brought me to where I am now... and i know there is more great things to come
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
how i wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me
and it starts with me. how can i expect potential to be realized in others, when i don't actively pursue it within myself?
thats a quintessential example of hypocrisy.
so lets go. less empty words. less words in general. more actions.
and it starts with me. how can i expect potential to be realized in others, when i don't actively pursue it within myself?
thats a quintessential example of hypocrisy.
so lets go. less empty words. less words in general. more actions.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I'm desperate for a change. I can't continue on in my ridiculous mindsets anymore. I have to stay active and stay focused, and make my actions match up with my words, or better still, my actions speak instead of my words
it makes me sick to think of the people who have put up with my inconsistencies and unreliability. friends in college, my parents, friends at work, and Jenny (she's put up with the most) how on earth can people believe what i say, when i don't do what i say i'm going to do? of course there are times when i make a decision to do something different than what i say, but those should be the exceptions and not the rule.
its so sick and its has to change, there really is no option left. i'm so grateful that the Lord was able to give me the grace to get up today and get going, as opposed to sleep till the last possible second.
it makes me sick to think of the people who have put up with my inconsistencies and unreliability. friends in college, my parents, friends at work, and Jenny (she's put up with the most) how on earth can people believe what i say, when i don't do what i say i'm going to do? of course there are times when i make a decision to do something different than what i say, but those should be the exceptions and not the rule.
its so sick and its has to change, there really is no option left. i'm so grateful that the Lord was able to give me the grace to get up today and get going, as opposed to sleep till the last possible second.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Friday, September 04, 2009
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
i don't know what to say... i honestly don't know what to feel aside from gratitude that the Lord gave me what i asked for. i want to carry the burdens of those i love... i do, my heart longs for it... and the Lord gave me a true taste of that, and while it hurt a lot, it did feel good, and for that i'm so good. i need to start breaking the box i've placed the Lord in... ugh thats so bad.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
today i bought a house, and i'm really excited.
but part of me is a little jealous of the idea of not buying a house, and i really don't know how to describe it otherwise.
the Lord has lead me in this direction, and i couldn't begin to tell you how obvious that has been... but this direction did not come without sacrifices of some kind. small, and theoretical as they may be, there were some involved. only a few of you might understand them, and i doubt even they would get it.
yeah i've just bought a box to live in, but i know my heart won't ever stay boxed in.
but part of me is a little jealous of the idea of not buying a house, and i really don't know how to describe it otherwise.
the Lord has lead me in this direction, and i couldn't begin to tell you how obvious that has been... but this direction did not come without sacrifices of some kind. small, and theoretical as they may be, there were some involved. only a few of you might understand them, and i doubt even they would get it.
yeah i've just bought a box to live in, but i know my heart won't ever stay boxed in.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
and my heart is sad.
"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."
matthew 12:33-37
"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."
matthew 12:33-37