april 2 has come and gone


i often think about my role in different relationships i've had - friendships and otherwise; as a son, as a brother

i often think that i screw things up and, even in all my psychoanalyzing, i just completely miss it. it worries me, but i find solace in the idea that i really don't dwell on the past much at all. the past is what it is. it has helped me so much, but when i think about it too much, i begin to doubt myself (unhealthily, i might add). in doing so, i'm unable to look forward and live in the here and now.

these past few months have been so odd for me. up and down, distant and far. i have felt so satisfied and at some points so unsatisfied & lonely. above all though, my hunger for the Lord to shape my character into something more legit and more like Him, has grown. I want it more than ever now.
there are some people i wish i could communicate to, and it breaks my heart that i cannot.

j'espère vous êtes grand, et j'espère que nous pouvons parler bientôt.