some people can't let go.

some parents can't let go.

some people don't want adventure.

any relationship who's main form of communication is through text message, lacks genuine communication.


texting back and forth is essentially like emailing each other back and forth really quickly.

when you step out and do it, you really can't be touched.

i mean, don't get me wrong. you'll be touched, and it may not be a soft caress, but when you're touched later in life, and you have the opportunity to show and teach and grow and lead... you are in a hell of a position with experience under your belt.

some brave ones step out quickly. others bide their time. either way, the best ones know that words without actions reflect:

lack of discipline
overbearing fear
self-conscious limitations
the status F*CKING quo


good job: Billy



take the time to deal with the internal unease, but if you spend too much time pouring inward. you'll drown in a river of self.

God: the river is life

The Killers: the river is wild

ergo: life is wild




I hope you're happy, general populous, settling down to a comfortable circumstance, with no end in sight, and no plans for adventure. Go crazy.

are you gonna move to canada?

didn't think so.

has your life changed now?
didn't think so.

are you so scared, just scared out of your mind that your family will be harmed, or America will go downhill?

probably so, but your fear is unfounded, and you lack faith that the Lord is control, and that things will be fine.

i'll tell you this: the Lord doesn't care at all who is in office, He can work through both.

Obama is in.



Besides, it makes me sick that people only care about politics and elections once ever 1300 days or so. bleh. if you really cared, you would know and be involved more in local politics.



i don't like an unbalanced senate and congress though. that kinda bugs me.


oh, and Obama will put in some republicans in his cabinet. so that should make you happy.



oh, and just chill out, and don't be dramatic. that kind of drama was over in 7th grade.

its almost as if no one gives any candidates a fair shake.

some people have their minds made up that no matter how terrible one candidate of a party is, the other (no matter who that is) will have to be worse by default.

and i don't think that is how we should operate. to me, that is a myopic stance, where only few issues matter, and opinions never change.

quite honestly, i don't believe God smiles upon our devisive politics and party systems. i do believe that the Lord is disappointed when we sling mud, and villify one of his sons or daughters. we are taught, above all, to love, and though we may not support one's viewpoints, becoming blindly irate at the person, is counter to that

ya know what pisses me the hell off?

people thinking that the money they have is theirs.

its not yours, my God. what did you do to DESERVE IT? and what do you think you are entitled to do with it?

if you're a christian... there are plenty of different scriptures about money, and our bible study is going to begin looking at them - which makes me excited - but you should have the overall idea that they money you have - was given to you - over and above anything you need or deserve... and for people to say so ignorantly and pompously - "its my money" or "i don't want MY MONEY GOING TO PEOPLE WHO NEED IT"... aka government programs... wow that's hypocrisy at its finest



a fine display of hypocrisy.


now don't get me wrong, i'm not a huge fan of MASSIVE government programming. but i think that our perspective of money - specifically when it comes to 'ownership' and 'government intervention', some people don't take a second to think how Christ would have shown love and met needs through money.



and why the hell are you so scared of change?


also, if you believe in God's sovereignty, then you believe that he has ordained who the next president is. so no matter who is in the office, the Lord has placed him there for his purposes.

don't you agree?

or

do you agree?

the months seem to fly by, and i find myself in a routine that is not the greatest.

last night at bible study, we talked about breaking the routine, and its something that i must do... if not, i fail...

and i have to get off of the idea of making it happen FOR MYSELF, BY MYSELF.

its an egocentric way to think - when i know that my emotions and thoughts are best managed through a lens that bends light first toward God, then toward others and myself.



refraction.
thats a cool word

in the middle of my cube farm, there is a workspace. This workspace, down at our end of the giant area, stays fairly neat. So neat, in fact, that the staplers are always lined up, and the binder clips are put neatly at the back of the work bench.

And when i go over to use the giant auto stapler, and staple remover, and sometimes when i just walk by, i pull out the staplers and turn them sideways, and generally throw off the balance of the table.

i think its because i want to teach a lesson.

people who want to keep things organized like that, and are ok with a little mess, must be DIFFERENTIATED from the people who want to keep things organized like that, and are completely thrown off, and cannot work, or cannot walk buy when they are VERY BUSY without fixing the table...


the former, i'm ok with... because for a majority of the time, i'm one of them. i like things neat, but i know better than to expect things (both little and big) to stay organized and neat all the time.


and i think for the latter, it speaks to an internal insecurity that worries me greatly. if its sets off something in them that they have to fix, and have to be in control of, even though it is not theirs... they are in a state of mind that is not healthy.

now, a counter argument is that "its not a big deal, we're talking about staplers..."

to which i respond... exactly... i always like stirring up a little trouble on things that are not a big deal.

then again, to these people it is a big deal, and they should learn to not treat things like this as such... they may need to change the way they've been doing things


which is why it pisses me the hell off to hear people at age 23 or 24 say "oh this is just how i do things..." or "oh this is just the way it goes" when responding to a criticism of sorts...

shut the hell up, and find a better way to do things. try something new. don't get stuck in a rut and placid, because that can be so damaging.

doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... maybe thats what you want.

maybe safety is found in the arms of routine.

but wait, safety is found in risk... calcuated, yes; and otherwise

yellow - 5
green - 4
brown - 11
red - 6
blue - 15
orage - 17

yellow - 5
green - 4
brown - 11
red - 6
blue - 15
orage - 17

Even if the Astros don't make the playoffs, which they probably won't, I still have hope for the next season... its a far cry from my extreme disappointment during the middle of this year...

we finished strong, and thats great. it may not result in the playoffs, which sucks so much, but its a good building ground for next year...

next year...

the future...


sheesh

people believe what they want to believe.

and stubborn people who are rarely wrong, do so even more.

i have 2 such people around me often, and i don't remember when they said the words.. "whoops, i was completely wrong about that" or... someone said something to them, that made them stop and change their mind.

i think that is just so ridiculous. maybe its because i'm wrong often, and have to admit it, that i feel like this.

but some people just hate to be wrong, more than they hate to look like an ignorant bastard (bastardette)

i can't believe its thursday already.

the weeks seem to go by so fast, and to me, since i only work 4 hrs on friday (most of the time), thursdays are like fridays to me.

it really amazes me how fast the weeks have flown by now that i've got work to do, and have been included in my group here at work. Its a face paced jobs sometimes, and other times its been pretty slow. Next week is the last week of the month for us, and we're gonna be busier, but its been nice to have a less stressful week at work.

resources are a non-issue in a large large company. pens, paper, printers, computers, they are all just expendable, and not a thought on managers minds. order 3 dozen new nice pens? done. print off things 5 times in color - 100 page packets? done.

i dunno how i feel about that. i'm conflicted

i feel like i'm going slower than everyone else before me.

i know things will work out... but it will all be a bitter apple for me if i learn later that it took me longer than everyone who's been here before

I'm just overwhelmed by it all... there's so much going on right now, and its not even about me.


i'm floating along in relatively mundane existence and people all around me are going through things


although i too am going through things.






[i'm so glad i'm not particular or obsessive enough to correctly punctuate and flow my blogs...]




but overwhelmingly i want to support those who are going through things - in those circumstances. newly married couples and problems, newly graduated friends looking for jobs, newly renewed relationships looking for leadership, and newly freshened perspectives on a whole range of things. i know that the key to it all is holding tight to things i know as truth. things i know to be fail-proof, and i know only of one. i know that God has been consistent in allowing me to go through things i can handle, and giving me problems to sort through, and giving me ridiculous blessings overall.




thats great




also, if sarah palin went to your home church, how might her daughter be looked upon in the youth group... 17 years old, pregnant?








also, how cool of a name is bristol?







also, when you make statements as if they are facts, try and back them up with objective information. not subjective conjectures.



especially if you are a leader.


i find myself trying to justify things with no ground to stand on sometimes. things that i really want to be true...



but the truth, in every situation, will be the final word.

i'm not quite sure if i believe the following death cab line. part of me believes its true. its just a little morbid.

"love is watching someone die"



i guess that is what sarah said, in the song "what sarah said".




love is watching, and helping someone LIVE. really live. but i guess that love is also watching someone die... at the end of a life... well lived, through a supportive relationship... of any kind

politics is back. once again i find myself at the end of questions from all over the place... regarding politics and people, etc.

i don't understand... why do people get so upset about potential policies.




events happen and things change... and i want everyone to understand that the end of the world is not going to be based on politics.




why are there a lot of bowties at the RNC? they look pompous.





i kind of wish i was in the middle of it, but i think that i am going to face enough stress and frustration talking with people who won't take an objective stance.


now who says that anyone has to come at any situation with complete objectivity? i suppose you don't have to.



i'm watching the RNC... and seeing mccain give his acceptance speech. he keeps getting awkwardly interrupted by the crowd shouting "USA"... and i don't get it.


i like palin. i think that she is a good shake up for this election. i really think that she might be the best candidate for any available position in this election.





i think its power that drives people to be so devoted to the political game.



i see the attractiveness of power too. there's a whole other level up there, and i think i may be a part of it one day... and i know that i can take a grounded stance with me wherever i go... i can evaluate it, and rethink it, and change it where necessary... but keep the grounded basis just that.

everyone is going to say "oh well its not a huge shock that we lost"

but thats bullshit. BULL ... SHIT.

we don't schedule Arkansas state to lose in the first game of the season... AT HOME.

what the hell?

here i am and i'll take my time
here i am and i'll wait in line, always
always