3 kids; 8 7 and 4

new house 

life is busy 

excited about 2018.

2017 was a good year - a year to re-set expectations and structure.

i remain incredibly proud of our family - from amazing mom Jennie to these 2 kiddos - who's descriptors range from super sweet to extreme complainers.

As I get older and my family's life grows more complicated... the further out my chronological perspective grows...

For instance, I know that I will have very limited, if any, excess time to watch football on television.

... I already know how busy we'll be for months out at a time

I feel the weight of responsibility growing, and I feel up to the challenge.  I look back at years before as to what I thought was 'a lot' of responsibility, but it doesn't come close to the amount that I see in my near future - over these next months and next years.

More than almost anything else, I want to carry the burdens of my young family, most importantly Jennie's, in the most respectful, humble way possible.

I am so grateful for what I've been given - my marriage, my house, my job, my community, and my time.  There is no other option but to steward them well... and I cannot possibly do that without relying on the Lord to grant me that strength.

Looks like a change it's a comin'

Been quite a while...

Best decision we've made (maybe in our entire marriage so far): sell our house and move closer into town and rent.

Life is too short to grind away your mid-late 20s in the suburbs. I realize that some folks love that - and there are plenty of people who DESIRE that. Its just not us.

We'd prefer the kind of relationship development (with those who live close by) to be lots of hang-out time [in addition to... texts, calls, facebook updates]. I want to lead our marriage in a way that models how Christ's 3 year ministry was: intentional, personal, proximate. He did not write a ton of letters, and send messages to those living far, far away... him and his disciples were travelling often, meeting with others, ministering to others, etc.

Of course there were times of respite and relaxtion - which obviously there needs to be. But they were intentional, and thats how I want to be. We'll find a neighborhood to buy a house in at some point in the future...but for now, we followed our hearts, which didnt' lead us toward the suburbs, but towards our community, closer to those relationships that God has quite evidently strengthened and lead us to. We're beyond lucky for those relationships, for the financial means we have to afford a nice apartment, nice lifestyle, etc. We've got a good community group through our church, where we've grown. We're better than we deserve to be.

anxiety everywhere.

i understand anxiety... i really do. i was paralyzed by it for a good amount of college, and i certainly feel it now sometimes.

IMHO, anxiety is only appropriate if you know that it is temporary. no one can stand an anxious person - someone who always NEEDS something to worry about. these are the kinds of people that we all were annoyed by. these were the overzelous moms in high school and college who you knew still had far too much reach into their adult child's life.

if there's a situation that is causing you tremendous anxiety, fair enough. but after that situation is remedied, or you are removed from that situation, or that situation becomes significantly improved... then you need to release that anxiety.

...but if you instead transfer it to the next thing that will cause you anxiety, you're in a really shitty spiral of worry. thats not cool - to your friends, to your family, etc.

i really think that some anxiety is managable and expected... from a spiritual perspective. God does demand that we not let it rule our minds though, but instead use it as an opportunity to trust him and beg for his help, his calmness.

boy, its funny where we end up.

Jenny and i talk about that often... if you would have told us a few years ago that we'd be in Dallas, in great community with people we've never met, with these jobs we have... we'd be pretty shocked.

i love blogging when i'm listening to music... its particularly inspirational... but its like I wish that I could just start playing the song i'm listening to while i'm writing this, so you can get the vibe.
i'm listening right now to Guster's Architects and Engineers... off their new album released earlier this year - called Easy Wonderful

I find it very funny when people feel the need to publicly show affection to their spouses on Facebook. Believe me I'm more Words of Affirmation than most people that I know... but what is the purpose here? Just a little confusing.


I've been chastised for showing an 'extremely healthy' amount of PDA from our Foundation Group and friends here in Dallas... but via facebook? as the kids say these days rotfl

...I suppose if you 'need' it, or just want to show it additionally, fair enough, but I do want to caution the use of facebook/regular dependance for certain types of communication. Entertainment? Yes. Business? Ok/Yes. Public displays of affection for spousal communication? Meh.

We near the end of june, and the end of 10 months of marriage. Good times.

Talk about progress... honestly we look back sometimes and have no clue where the first few months went. We have adjusted a ton.

I tell my buddies a motto I heard once along the way, its likely sports related, but I apply it to almost everything, because it holds so true. It sounds kinda cheesy, but its honestly and sincerely legitimately applied to almost everything.

Champions Adjust.

There you have it. When your cute little schedule doesn't fall in line exactly how you'd like it, or you have some expectations that are unmet... adjust. Be a champ, don't be a whiny little chump, bitchin' about everything that comes along, or doesn't go your way.

Also, beware of isolation. Jenny and I were talking about that - seeing friends who isolate themselves fairly intensely. The interesting thing about isolators, is that they have the most 'legitimate' excuses. How on earth did our parents live without cell phones, and DIY blogs and BravoTV? I don't know how they did it, and maintained decent relationships, raised decent kids.

Isolation sucks so much. It hurts others who are NOT living in isolation. Isolation is the opposite of community.

Community is not a suggestion, sincere, great community is a must. Community is not just 1 or 2 friends who are close, who you allow to hang out with you at your convenience. Community is championship like adjusting and allowing your little schedule of anxiety to be thrown off a little bit.

I'm so proud of my wife for being such an adjusting champion. First and foremost to me and my off-center ways of living. She's calmed an incredible amount of my spirit, and allowed me to focus down on legitimate leadership, biblical stewardship and caring, and focused community. Gosh I'm so proud of her. She's adjusted herself to understanding that her routines and preferences for a clean house and organized everything might not be available all the time... especially as we pour ourselves into community. Weekly cleaning routines might be thrown off a little bit, if it means we're going to meet up with people we love and want to share life with. We still get to clean, and organize and be calm and restful, but it requires adjustment. Champions adjust.

Well May has come and gone.. and that was crazy. we're about to hit the halfway point of 2011. Wow. This past month was pretty crazy for us - we hosted both sets of parents at our house, had a breakfast bar installed, painted 2 rooms, went to Tennessee and had some incredible hang-outs with our friends here in dallas - both our Froundation Group and our other friends.

Community is so nice. Its so great to have people you regularly interact with, and who you can be open and honest with. Major family issues? Its pretty tough to put on a sweet face and respond to the question "how's everything going?" with a partial-lie of "going fine! thanks! how are you doing?!" and deflect a sincere response into an externally focused series of questions.

How can people call a group of friends "community" when you cannot come to most everyone in the group, and tell them the stains on your heart? If you need help, prayer, advice, thoughts, you have to ask for it. Keeping certain things hidden, insecurities and concerns masked in "what will people think?" is exactly what Jesus DIDN'T want us to do.

Honestly, I thought I knew what great community looked like. And I did. I have had such GREAT community in the past... but I really see that there is even another level of intimacy that you can share with people who walk beside you... and interact with on a regular basis.

it requires a lot to be the kind of person that encourages, and loves, and is gracious, both at work and at home. i know that that is the kind of person that I want to be though, and I know its what my wife and my friends and co-workers need.

I'm so proud of Jenny for fighting through tough shit at work. Talk about emotional ups-and-downs, catty women, unprofessional workers, and amazingly disgusting conversations, life-styles etc... to have to face that every day, and maintain your emotional poise? Thats legit. Work sucks, I'll make no bones about it. Finding the perfect job is certainly do-able, but it is difficult and might not be the first one you take. But there's something to say about sticking with it, and honestly I've been so impressed that Jenny has fought through a cluster-ton of anxiety, unfair treatment, long hours, weekend hours, etc. Bravo.

There is tons of stuff I want to say. I don't know how well other places might do it, but I do know that Watermark's model for community is just right on. I honestly have not met a leader (member-leader, and staff-leader) that has not been able to communicate clearly, to answer questions succinctly and with wisdom, and encourage, edify, and speak with the perfect amount of humility and authority. Where was this earlier in my journey? Was I not prepared to hear good leadership speak? I think that might have been the case in college to an extent - Phillip Bethancourt was (is) one of those godly, stand-up, wise, honest incredible men who wanted to bring students and peers (I was both-ish), up to the next level in their relationship with the Lord. But sheesh. I definitely think it was a combination of me not being ready or wanting to hear it, and there not being a good amount of it within the churches/organizations I was connected with. I see the model that we believe in here at Watermark, and I think "hm, I don't know if I want my family to grow in any other situation". Yes, its that good. No, I'm not being dramatic.

From Mumford & Sons' The Cave Its empty in the valley of your heart the sun it rises slowly as you walk away from all the fears and faults you've left behind the harvest left no fruit for you to eat I wonder often what people love about being comfortable. Can people imagine what it would be like to live far away from comforts? Listening to good music that talks about bravery, and challenge, and 'different' things is almost satisfactory. But not really.